It was a day like any other day as most stories begin. That night my dad and I were going to the races. This was great thing for me as it was a time With just me and my dad. We were living in Calhoun Kentucky in late fall. As far as I remember it was our first adventure to the races since moving from Nebraska. It was a blast to watch and as the night went on it was also extremely cold.
We had begin to return home. We were traveling in a pick up with a man and his son from church. We all were chit chatting about what we saw and enjoying the roller coaster roads that existed between the track and Calhoun. The problem with this was we could not see more than 50 feet ahead of us from hills to curves we continually were in consistantly up, down, left or right.
I can remember nearly photographically what happened next. We heard a loud bang similar to the sounds we hard at the race track. As we elevated up the hill we saw our fears. A car accident with two cars in front of us. I can to this day remember the graphic nature of this wreck. It’s messed with my dreams, fears, and psyche for to long.
I saw the cars still settling from the impact with dust in the air from accident. Steam coming from engines along with fluids of all type just starting to hit the road.
The man and my dad instantly pulled over and went to help. In the car in our lane that was hit and had four passengers. I can remembering seeing the drive covered in blood head crushed in the door that formed a V. This car was about 5 to 10 feet behind the impact and nearly completely sideways. There was a lady in the back seat who’s face was covered in blood and trying to climb out the side back window. My dad ran up to her and calmed her down to keep her in the car. Shortly after they pulled her from the car with help from neighbors laying down in the front yard of one of them covered in blankets. I remember seeing a guy in the back seat who was not moving and a lady in the passenger seat who obviously wasn’t in good shape. In the car that impacted this car was two people. A female in passenger seat completely out cold and a man in the drivers seat and completely out cold.
Time of impact to us coming on the scene less than 20 seconds. And time spent there was not as long as I think but it seems an eternity.
The reason I am writing this is I’ve not told many about the nightmares that haunted me afterwards. In fact my parent I don’t think knew how much it messed me up. From this day forward I was haunted with fear while entering a car.
I constantly would think every corner every hill we would die. I would sleep just long enough for my dreams to begin and wake up in fear of death. It caused me to be angry and even maybe a little bit paranoid. It wasn’t until I was 19 and had many concussions that I began to sleep properly only because I wasn’t able to dream for about 2 months.
I was released of my pain and torture that I kept inside. It’s something I can no longer keep to myself. Images of pain and death satan uses to attempt to torture me. To attempt to control my thoughts and make me feel God doesn’t love cause this happened. I remember getting chills that night from seeing and not being able to turn away. I remember that no scary movie bother me after that because of consistently seeing those images.
But I cannot be free from these nightmares unless I stop keeping them to myself. It’s funny how satan will use things. Things that don’t seem to be anything unless he’s grinding you with them.
Let me ask you this are you free? Are there things we continually hang on to? I would say yes there is. Find someone and let them know it. Give it to God. Let him take away the pain we hold on to.