Tough Love

It’s tempting to start this by saying, “In light of recent events…” but I’m pretty sure this issue has been around a whole lot longer than just the past few weeks or months. Somewhere along the way, humans decided that if you love someone, you can’t criticize them, chide them, disagree with them or, Heaven forbid, blatantly tell them they’re wrong. The thing is, sometimes those things are love. People just don’t like it.

Loving someone is also protecting them. To use an old cliché, if I had a child and they wanted to touch a hot stove, I’d tell them not to. Why? Because I love them and I don’t want to see them hurt. I’m not going to stand there and debate whether or not it’s their own choice and perception of heat that should determine if they’re going to set their skin ablaze. Hello! I’m gonna boldly say, “No!” Of course, many a child has ignored such a warning and has been burned anyway, but that doesn’t dismiss the importance of having been told not to do it.

Why are things so different when considering adults? I’m not being judgmental when I tell my child not to hurt himself/herself. I’m being a good parent! Why then, is it judgmental to tell a friend or family member that what they’re doing is a bad choice? Is it because their brain is more mature than a two-year-old, and that automatically gives them infinite insight? Granted, I don’t have infinite insight either, but why am I criticized for simply pointing out when someone is going to make a bad decision? I realize not everyone holds to my belief in the Bible. But why am I being “unloving” and “judgmental” for pointing out the truth? Maybe it’s something my feeble mind will simply never understand.

The concept of love has been skewed beyond recognition. When people say, “Love one another,” what they really mean is, “Tolerate one another to the point of not stepping on anyone’s toes, offending or criticizing them. Let them do whatever they want, and don’t you dare express your opposing opinions, lest their feelings be hurt.” Seriously? Whatever happened to “tough love”? Do people even know what that means anymore? It means that sometimes you love someone enough and care enough about their well-being, that your actions may hurt their feelings because you simply can’t watch them self-destruct. It may mean saying, “No,” to cease enabling harmful actions. It may mean speaking the truth to their face and reminding them of what’s right and wrong. It may even mean fracturing your relationship because you care enough to set a good example instead of blinding yourself to sinful behavior.

Love according to the Bible, is not love according to the world. They have become two very different things, which has endangered the very core of “Christianity.” As a follower of Christ, I understand I am to love all – even when it’s hard. But at the same time, I am also not to stand idly by and watch others stumble down a wayward path simply because I shouldn’t offend them. Jesus offended many, and He is my guide. Of course I’m not going to go around bashing people over the head with my Bible or tell someone they’re going to hell because of a bad choice. I’m to rebuke in love. Biblical love. Righteous love. Tough love.

Where do you stand when it comes to true love? Does love mean all is permissible, or does it mean we have rules because of love?

Who I AM!

Growing up I had a lot of expectations on me I always felt. I was a preachers kid so there we certain things I was expected to be. I was son of Gene which had expectations on it. I was the brother of Jenny and Julie which has expectations with it. I was the son of Carol which had expectations on it. I was in a small town which changes those expectations. I had a name that carried expectations with that as well. Continue reading “Who I AM!”

8 years old

Today my oldest turns 8 years old.  

Normally I’d write a funny story about something he said or something he did.  But it’s his 8th birthday.  When asking him what kind of party he wanted he said a math party. He got all excited for his numbers.  He loves the strange and not normal things like numbers and reading tons. We are beyond excited for this little man growing up as each day his personality grows more and more.  

This is his 4th birthday with us.  His first birthday was his 4th birthday.  So in my limited math head makes this even more special to us as it adds to 8 which is how old he is. 

 He’s just as excitable as when he first entered our lives.  We are excited for what the future holds for this little man.  
Happy birthday Owen.